Oh God! The Medical Channel
by Just A Girl Of The Hollow x3
Summary: Oh God! What? Rory are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm watching the medical channel. Jess chuckled.
1. Oh God! The Medical Channel

A/N: Okay, so I know I already wrote a rewrite for 'There's the Rub' but this idea popped in my head last night while I was going to sleep. Once again, some of the dialogue is from the show. Some characters are OOC so, deal with it.

Disclaimer: Don't own…

On with the story…

--

**Oh God! The Medical Channel**

"Beats being at Luke's," Jess shrugs his shoulders.

"But-," Rory says and is interrupted by Paris.

"I can't find my flashcards," Paris states as she comes in from the living room.

"I didn't know you had company," Jess confesses.

"This is Paris. We were just studying," Rory explains.

"Huh," he responds with his regular reply.

"Don't worry, I was just leaving. If you find my flash cards, call me, okay?" Paris says and starts walking to the foyer.

"Okay, bye Paris," Rory says and turns back to Jess.

"Let's eat," Rory says and brushes past Jess to sit at the table.

Jess smirks and follows suit.

After eating in silence for a few moments, Rory gets up, "You want a soda?" she turns from the fridge and is face to face with Jess, "Jess…"

"Shh," Jess says as he cups her face in his hands and leans down to kiss her.

Rory drops the 2 soda cans she had been holding and wrapped her arms around his neck. He takes them backwards into the living room, still kissing and bumping into walls on their way. Rory even giggled a couple times.

Jess smiled into the kiss and laid them down on the couch so that Jess was hovering over top of Rory. He slid his tongue across her teeth and bit down lightly on her bottom lip, asking for entrance. He had wanted to do this since the first night he came here and saw her.

She happily allowed his entrance and started to run her fingers through her hair. She had wanted to that since the first day he was here and she saw his messy hair.

Jess rested his right hand on her hips and his left bracing himself on the arm of the couch as to not crush her with his weight. Rory ran her hands down his sides and wrapped them around his waist, pulling down on it. She wanted to feel his weight on her. Jess obliged and gently laid his body fully on top of her. She gasped into his mouth at the new sensation of having his full body length against her. Just as Jess started to nibble on her neck, the phone rang. They both groaned and Rory reached for the phone on the coffee table as Jess got off of her and sat at the other end of the couch turning on the TV.

"Hello?" Rory said into the phone as she stood up.

"Hey."

"Oh hey, where are you?" Rory asked as she waved Jess back over to her.

Jess smirked, dropped the remote, and scooted over so that Rory was standing directly in front of him, then pulled her down in his lap. Rory yelped, but quickly covered her mouth.

"Rory, you okay?" Dean asked, concerned over the phone.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just tripped over some clothes in the hallway. Where did you say you were?" Rory asked, tying to hold back giggles as Jess rubbed circles on her hips.

"On my way to see you – if that's okay?" Dean answered.

Rory sighs, "Dean," Jess' head snaps up at the name, "I told you I wanted to be alone tonight," Rory smiles at him and he smirks, then gets back to kissing her collar bone.

"I promise I won't stay long, but I miss you," Dean said.

Rory rolls her eyes. She is now running her free hand through Jess' hair and Jess has just found a sensitive spot for Rory, right behind her left ear, "Oh God," Rory half moaned, half yelled.

"Rory?" Dean said confusedly, "Are you okay?"

Jess smirked against her neck as he felt her grip his hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said shortly, she could hear Jess breathing in her ear.

"Dean never made you feel this way did he?" Jess asked and darted his tongue in and around her ear.

"Oh God!" Rory exclaimed, not being able to contain herself, "No," she said more quietly.

"Rory, what's going on over there?" Dean asked, getting annoyed.

"Nothing, I'm just watching the medical channel and they're showing really gross stuff," Rory lied and then bit her bottom lip.

"Oh, like what?" Dean asked.

"Uh, well, there is a lady in labor at the moment and her baby might uh die, yeah it might die, poor baby," Rory stumbled a bit with the response and Jess chuckled.

"Did I just hear someone laugh?" Dean asked.

Rory pulled on Jess' hair as a way to tell him to shut-up. Jess reached a hand up and rubbed his head, removing his lips from her neck in the process. Rory smiled sweetly at him and raised her eyebrows. He shook his head and continued his ministrations. He bit on her neck as pay back and Rory yelped.

"Rory, I'm a couple blocks away, I'm coming," Dean said, a little worried about her.

"No!" she said quickly and Jess stopped, thinking she was talking to him. She shook her head at him and pointed to the phone. Jess nodded in understanding and kissed the corner of her mouth, then her jaw, and back down to her neck, "Dean, I asked you for one night alone and you can't even give me that freedom? I never get the house to myself and you're going to ruin it for me? I don't know if I can do this anymore," Rory told him and Jess laughed again, he couldn't help himself.

"What? Rory are you serious?" Dena asked incredulously and stopped his walk to her house, just before her driveway.

"Yes, Dean, I can't deal with this," Rory said and Jess was very happy so he bit on her neck again then traveled up to her sensitive spot, "Oh!" Rory said, "I'm sorry Dean, but it's over. You're just too possessive," Rory finished and hung up before Dean could respond.

Dumbstruck, Dean turned around and walked home.

Rory threw the phone on the floor and it landed with a thud as Jess laid them back on the couch. They were kissing now. Hungry, fiery kisses that drove them both crazy.

Rory flipped them so that she was now on top of Jess straddling him. She smiled coyly, bent down and captured his lips in a soft kiss, then increased the pressure and bit down on his bottom lip. Jess groaned and pulled Rory down so that she was fully laying on Jess. Rory took the groan as an opportunity to dart her tongue in his mouth. They had wanted this for so long.

They continued this for a few minutes until both were in need of some air. They pulled apart, both gasping for air. Jess sat them up a little. He positioned them so that Rory was curled into his side, his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his back, their free hands intertwined in their laps.

"So, you're definitely broken up with Dean? Jess asked.

"Yup, I'm definitely broken up with Dean," Rory nodded as she let her fingers play with Jess' hand.

"Well than I have to do something," Jess said softly and looked down at Rory.

Rory looked up at Jess with wide eyes, "What's that?"

Jess let his eyes roam all over her face before he leant down and captured her lips in a short, passionate kiss.

Rory smiled, "We've already done that," Rory said.

"Rory, will you be my girlfriend?" Jess asked, completely ignoring her earlier statement.

"What?" Rory asked disbelievingly. This was not Jess-like at all.

Jess smiled amusedly, "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," Rory answered with a tear in her eye. She slipped her arm out from behind his back and cupped his face in her hands, "Of course," she repeated and kissed him square on the mouth. Jess wrapped his arms around her and gladly reciprocated the kiss by pulling her close and lying them back down with Jess hovering over her. They pulled apart and smiled at each other.

"Let's watch a movie," Rory said with a smile.

"Okay, what do you want to watch?" Jess asked her as he let her up to start the movie.

"Hmmm," Rory said as she bent down to look at the movies they had next to the TV, "How about _The Breakfast Club_?"

"Sounds fine," Jess said and waited for Rory to join him on the couch.

Rory popped the movie in and then went back over to the couch and snuggled into Jess.

A few hours later, Lorelai came home after a disastrous fight with Emily and was in complete shock at the sight in front of her. She walked in quietly as not to wake Rory and what she saw stunned her. On the couch with the TV on in front of them was Rory and Jess sleeping. Jess was lying on his back with one arm above his head and the other around Rory while she had her head on his chest, one arm slung across his chest and the other crunched up between Jess and the couch. Rory was half pinned between Jess and the couch and half on top of Jess. The bottom of her right leg was in between his legs and the top of her right leg was sprawled across his torso.

Lorelai was so surprised she dropped all of her bags and they landed with a loud thud on the hardwood floor. She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands.

"Oh my God!" Lorelai whispered.

Rory groaned and buried her head in the crook of Jess' neck, starting to wake up.

Lorelai tip-toed over to her and grabbed a blanket on the way. Rory's eyes started to flutter open.

"Mom?" Rory said confusedly.

"Shh, go back to sleep Hunnie," Lorelai said and covered the teens with a blanket.

"Okay," Rory sighed and fell back asleep.

Lorelai would deal with this in the morning. After calling Luke and letting him know where Jess was, she made her way up to her bed and collapsed on it. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The next morning she stumbled ungracefully down the stairs but jumped back up a couple steps when she saw the couch and yelped. She had forgotten that Rory and Jess were on the couch. Not only were they together on the couch, but they were now together and tangled in the blanket she had placed on them last night. They looked peaceful. Rory had a smile on her face and Jess looked like a normal human being.

Lorelai smiled and then walked over to them and poked Jess' arm a tad.

He groaned, "Five more minutes Luke."

"Oh, I am NOT Luke. How dare you?" Lorelai said, appalled.

"Shhh, sleepy time," Rory mumbled.

"No, get up time! Come on! You guys are lucky I didn't wake you up last night at 2 in the morning!" Lorelai said and shoved Jess' shoulder.

"AH!" Jess said and fell off the couch pulling Rory with him. They landed on Lorelai's feet and she screamed.

"Get off my feet!" Lorelai yelled.

"Mom?" Rory asked surprised as a blush crept up her neck.

"Yes, you said that last night too," Lorelai said as she sat down on a chair and rubbed her feet.

"Hi Ms. Gilmore," Jess said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh don't you 'Hi Ms. Gilmore' me you little punk," Lorelai said.

"Mom-," Rory started, but was cut off.

"No Rory! I can't believe you did this when you're still with Dean!" Lorelai exclaimed and stood up just to fall back down because her toes still hurt.

"I'm not with Dean anymore," Rory countered. She and Jess were seated on the couch again.

"When did that happen?" Lorelai asked.

"Last night," Rory answered guiltily.

"And you couldn't have told me that when I called?" Lorelai asked, slightly hurt that her daughter hadn't informed her of this earlier.

"It hadn't happened yet!" Rory explained, desperately wanting her mom to understand.

"Huh?" now she was just confused.

Rory explained everything that happened last night, even the uncomfortable parts where even Jess was turning a slight shade of pink.

"So you're telling me that you and Jess were here by yourself for _hours_ just making out?" Lorelai asked.

"Well, no, we watched a movie after Jess asked me to be his girlfriend," Rory retorted.

"Oh god," Jess muttered under his breath and sank into the couch.

"Jessie-poo asked you to be his girlfriend?" Lorelai teased.

"Yes?" Rory said confusedly.

"How sweet," Lorelai smirked at Jess.

"You know what Lorelai? You can hate me, that's fine because obviously you'll never accept me, but she said yes and you may be able to change that eventually, but for now, she is my girlfriend and I'm sorry you despise me, but you're going to have to deal with that," Jess ranted, got up, went to the bathroom and slammed the door, knowing Rory wouldn't want him to leave, but not being able to stay in the same room with Lorelai.

"Mo-_om_!" Rory exclaimed and chased after Jess.

"I'm sorry," Lorelai called, "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"He's not going to hurt me mom," Rory said as she tried to knock on the bathroom door.

"Yes he is Rory! He's exactly like Christopher when he was young! He's just a rebel without a cause and you're just his conquest!" Lorelai explained.

"How can you say that about him? You don't even know him! He's nothing like dad! You can't change that I'm going out with Jess no matter how much you both think you can. I want to be with Jess and you can't change it," Rory told her mom confidently.

At that moment Jess opened the bathroom door and took Rory's face in his hands bringing her lips to his in a passionate kiss. Rory reciprocated immediately by wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him closer to her. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together. He still had his hands on her face and she moved her hands over top of his. Jess smiled, not smirked, but smiled.

"Thank you," Jess whispered.

"It was true," Rory confessed.

They looked each other in the eye and smiled.

Lorelai smiled and said, "Okay," then put her hands up in surrender.

Rory ran to her mother and jumped in her arms, "Thanks mom!"

"Thanks Lorelai," Jess nodded his head at her.

"No problem, just, no more sleepovers okay?" she said.

"We didn't mean to, I swear," Rory insisted.

"Really Lorelai, we just fell asleep during the movie," Jess assured her.

"I know, it just freaked me out, that's all," Lorelai supplied as Rory walked back over to Jess where he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head. Rory smiled and leant up to give Jess a peck.

"We understand mom," Rory said.

"Luke's expecting you back in 15 minutes," Lorelai directed at Jess and his eyes went wide.

"He's going to kill me!"

"No, I called him last night and told him not to worry," Lorelai reassured.

"No, he's still going to kill me. He's going to think I destroyed her or something," Jess said worriedly.

"Jess, calm down," Rory touched his cheek affectionately.

"No, I can't. Lorelai, hide me!" Jess said with panic.

"Dude, seriously, chill out! I'll call Luke and explain everything to him. You'll be fine," Lorelai assured him.

"Okay," Jess said, much calmer.

"Good, now you better get going or he really _is_ going to kill you," Lorelai warned.

"Very funny," Jess glared at Lorelai while she smiled amusedly, "I'll see you later," he directed to Rory and leant down to kiss her then left quickly.

"I think I'm going to like him," Lorelai stated with a smile.

"What? I thought you hated him," Rory said confusedly as she and Lorelai walked into the kitchen to start coffee.

"Ah, past tense, he's very amusing and much smarter than Dean."

"Mom!" Rory said, surprised at her mother.

"He will be able to keep up with us much easier than Dean _and_ he can give us coffee," Lorelai explained.

"Ah, so the real reason is spoken! You only like him for his coffee-getting abilities!" Rory said as if discovering something very valuable.

"It's always the coffee," Lorelai said with a mischievous smile as she sipped her fresh coffee.

Rory chuckled and the Gilmore girls continued to sip their elixir of life.

"Oh! Call Luke, hurry!" Rory exclaimed.

"Oh yeah!" Lorelai raced for the phone and dialed as quick as she could.

Hopefully Luke hadn't killed Jess yet.

"Luke's," Luke said gruffly into the phone.

"You didn't kill him yet did you?" Lorelai said immediately.

"Kill who? Lorelai, what are you talking about?"

"Phew," Lorelai said exasperatedly as she wiped imaginary sweat off her forehead, "No one, so about last night…"

--

A/N: Okay, so I started with a basic idea and the rest wrote itself. I'm not sure how it is. Please let me know if it's horrible or not!


	2. Those Gilmore Girls

A/N: Based on popular demand, I've decided to make this a 2 part story. I'm pretty sure I won't write another chapter after this. It's just for kicks! I'm going to warn you now, these characters are extremely OOC because this is purely for funny-ness…and of course for Literati pleasure...Seriously people, this is VERY OOC!

Aw, dedicated to Hatty! I'm so sorry about today Hun! I hope this will brighten your mood!

Disclaimer: Don't own…

On with the story…

--

**Those Gilmore Girls, They Saved a Hoodlum**

"What about last night?" Luke asked.

"Well, you see…"

"Oh God! What did Jess do? Where is he? Did you kill him yet?" Luke interrupted.

"Well no, as I was trying to say before…"

"Oh, so you left some for me? Ah gee thanks Lorelai, I didn't think you had the restraint in you," Luke said.

"No, Luke…"

"Oh here he is, bye Lorelai," Luke said quickly and hung up.

"No! Luke!" Lorelai tried, but he had already hung up.

"So?" Rory asked hopefully.

"We need to high-tail it to the diner," Lorelai said and started running to the door.

"Oh my God, try Luke on your cell on the way," Rory suggested and as they hopped down the front stairs, in their pajamas, trying to get their shoes on, while Lorelai also fumbled with her cell phone.

"Luke's," he said into the phone and in the background you could here Jess yelling for help and muttering curses at Lorelai.

"Luke! Don't hurt him! It's okay! Everything's fine, I'll explain when we get there, just don't hurt him!" Lorelai exclaimed and hung up.

"What? Lorelai?" Luke said into the phone confusedly, then turned to Jess, "You're lucky, Lorelai just saved your ass, I don't know why, but she did, so…get to work!"

Jess scowled and picked up the coffee pot. As he was getting a table by the door, two panting Gilmore girls walked in the door. No one noticed Dean at the counter sipping coffee.

"Did you kill him!?" Lorelai asked as soon as she had caught her breath.

"Um, no?" Luke said confused.

"Yes! We did it! We saved a hoodlum!" Lorelai raised her hands above her head triumphantly.

"Hey," Jess said to Rory and the two smiled.

"Work!" Luke ordered.

"Hey," Rory said back softly and Jess didn't move.

"Work Jess!" Luke said again as he walked past the pair. Lorelai had already contented herself at the counter with coffee.

"One second Luke," Rory said and pulled on Jess' arm until they were behind the counter.

She leant back against the counter and pulled Jess by his belt loops to her. He set the coffee pot in his hand down and cupped her face as they met in a passionate kiss. He slid his hands down her sides to her back and started to rub circles there. Rory parted her lips in a gasp and Jess took the opportunity to slide his tongue in. Rory moved her hands up his chest to behind his neck and the two seemed to forget they were in a diner.

"Oh God," Dean muttered, which snapped them back to reality.

"You have a problem Bagboy?" Jess asked.

"Yes, I need more coffee," Dean said shortly.

Rory turned to look at Dean and giggled the turned to Miss. Patty and Babette's table, "Did you see that? Patty? Babette?" she called to them.

"See what sweetie?" Patty asked innocently with her usual sultry smile.

"You're kidding right?" Rory asked.

"Of course doll! How could we not?" Babette piped in.

Rory smiled, "Good."

She kissed Jess again.

"Enough with the PDA!" Lorelai said, "I'm going to be blinded for life!"

"Work Jess!" Luke barked.

They pulled apart and Rory pouted, "They're no fun."

"That's because they're in love and won't admit it," Jess said, then kissed her and went off to take a new table's order. A family of 3 had moved in on Patty and Babette's table seeing as they went to spread the news.

But the show wasn't over yet.

"How could you?"

"What?" Rory turned her head to Dean; she had been staring blankly out the door. She was still behind the counter.

"And with him no less," Dean continued.

"What are you babbling about?" Rory asked.

"How could you do that right in front of me?"

"Do what? Kiss Jess? Well it's not my fault you're stupid enough to come to his place of work where I go everyday," Rory said to him and started to walk to the end of the counter. She passed Jess on her way out from behind it.

"He bothering you?" Jess asked.

"Nah, I'm fine," she answered and gave him a peck then continued to her destination which was the seat next to her mother.

"Rory, come on, I love you," Dean pleaded as Rory walked past him and Dean grabbed her arm.

"Get off of me! Didn't you hear me last night on the phone?" Rory asked as she snatched her arm back.

"Yeah and I also heard a chuckle, who was chuckling Rory?" Dean asked with anger.

"That would be me," Jess answered as he walked past Dean to behind the counter.

Dean sprung out of his seat, "What!?"

"Dean, chill out," Lorelai piped in.

By this time Babette and Patty had been informed that the diner show was far from over and they had rushed back in.

"How could that have been him if you were alone? And it had to be right next to the mouth piece," Dean stated, confused as usual.

Jess smirked, "Good for you Bagboy, so smart," he commented and waited for everything to register in Dean's mind, but it didn't.

"I wasn't alone Dean!" Rory said suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen upon the diner that was waiting for Dean to realize the obvious.

"But…then who was there with you?"

"You're kidding right?" Gypsy chimed in from the corner.

"No," Dean said with knitted eyebrows.

Jess was chuckling quite freely as was Lorelai…well she was trying to hold her laughter back, but it just wasn't working.

"Jess, Dean, Jess was there with me. And Paris for a little," Rory finally told him.

"What!?" Dean said, angry again, "But then how did the laughter make it so close to the phone?"

Rory rolled her eyes at his stupidity and Jess and Lorelai simply could not stop laughing, it was proving difficult to stand for Jess.

"You _really_ want to know that Dean?" Rory asked with a gleam in her eye and a smirk on her face.

"Oh come on Rory, that's just mean," Lorelai managed through her laughter. Rory had explained everything about the phone call on their run to the diner. Note to Gilmores: Gilmores DON'T run.

"Well if he wants to know…," Rory trailed off, "So, what's it going to be? Do you want to know or not?"

Everyone in the diner went silent including the laughing hyenas, awaiting Dean's answer. Dean knit his eyebrows together in deep thought. Suddenly he put his hand to his head and muttered an inaudible 'Ow' then turned to Rory as she tried not to laugh, "Yes."

"Okay," Rory said and walked over to Dean. She took a seat next to him and leaned in with a smile. She cupped her hand around her mouth as he leant his ear in and she stage whispered to him, "I was sitting on his lap," then she giggled as the diner gasped collectively.

"WHAT!?" Dean roared and sprung out of his seat, making his way behind the counter.

"Whoa Bagboy, don't come any closer," Jess said, suddenly serious.

"Leave him alone Dean," Rory said.

"No," Dean said and continued walking, "You afraid Jess?"

Jess stood his ground behind the counter as Dean neared him, "In your dreams Dean-o, but I'm not going to fight you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And why's that diner boy?"

"Lay off Dean," Lorelai piped in.

"You're okay with this Lorelai?" Dean asked incredulously and snapped his head to Lorelai.

"Look Dean, Rory's right. You are too possessive and you're boarding stalker so if you could please leave, that would be great," Lorelai answered and went back to sipping her coffee.

Babette and Patty were soaking this up eagerly.

"Fine," Dean said and started to walk away, then suddenly turned around and went to punch Jess in the jaw but Jess blocked it and threw Dean one to the gut.

"Get out Dean!" Rory yelled.

"I love you Rory!" Dean tried, clutching his stomach in pain.

"LUKE!" Rory said.

"Dean, out, NOW!" Luke bellowed and went behind the counter to yank Dean out and then threw him out the door. When Luke closed the door the diner crowd erupted in applause. Rory and Lorelai giggled as Luke turned scarlet and told them to shut-up.

"Is the show ova' doll?" Babette called to Rory.

"One sec. Babette," Rory said as she bit her lip and trotted to where Jess stood at the end of the counter.

She reached up and pulled him down to her in a quick, passionate kiss, "Okay, show's over," Rory smiled and kissed him again.

"Okay, so you know the whole town is going to know everything that just happened in a matter of 5 minutes right?" Jess asked her as he held her in his arms; hands around her waist rubbing small circles on his back.

She had her hands around his neck and went on her tippy-toes to give him a quick peck, "Yup," Rory smiled a large grin as a light shade of pink tinted her cheeks.

"As long as you're okay with it," Jess smirked and kissed her nose.

"Enough," Lorelai started suddenly, "with the PDA!" she finished and she covered her eyes.

"Whatever you say Lorelai," Jess smirked and leant down to capture Rory's lips in a slow sensual kiss that took her breath away.

"Oh come on," Lorelai said dramatically and laid her head down in her hands on the counter, "Ror?"

They broke apart, "Yeah?" Rory answered breathlessly.

"We're still in our pajamas," Lorelai said, head still in her hands.

"Oh my God! We are!" Rory's face turned a deep shade of red as she pecked Jess then grabbed her mom by the arm and started to drag her out of the counter, "Come on mom!" to her mom, "Bye Jess! Bye Luke!" she said over her shoulder as she and Lorelai rushed out the diner and started towards their house. They would be back later.

_Those Gilmore girls_, thought Luke and Jess as they shook their heads and continued working as if nothing had changed.

Everything had changed.

--

A/N: So, not as long as the first chapter, but you guys are lucky I even did this. I wasn't planning on it, but that's okay! Tell me what you think!

Love you Hatty! Hope you're in a better mood!


End file.
